Okay, I am a true buckeye. I was born and raised in Columbus,Ohio (well raised in Pickerington,Ohio a suburb twenty minutes from Columbus but you get the point). I LOVE the state of Ohio. 6 days of the week you can catch me in Ohio State or Browns or Cavs apparel. I love the small town feel of Columbus. I have a love/hate for the constant weather changes. I love how High Street is filled with scarlet and gray on a fall Saturday. I love the taste of Columbus’s famous bakery shop Reschs. So basically, I am just a proud Ohio gal. So you can imagine when my family moved to Gilbert, Arizona two short weeks ago it was a culture shock. From the 100 plus temperatures, to houses not having basements (not that I ever actually used a basement for any purpose), to not finding my favorite conditioners in stores Arizona was just different.
Let me catch you up. My mother was diagnosed with Lupus one short year ago. My family has moved to Arizona to help improve her health. Now I’ve never been a person to “like” change but this was truly over the top to me. I would now be 27 hours from home. 27 hours from my friends. 27 hours from my church. 27 hours from walking into Target and getting my favorite conditioner. 27 hours from every store selling buckeye appeal. 27 hours.
I knew things would be different and I had a hard time weeks up to the move. I had countless anxiety attacks and tantrums but bottom line was I need my mom and she needs to get better. From the moment I announced I would be moving I knew nothing would ever be the same. I have never been one to have many friends but tried to make it count with the ones that I did have. Quality over quantity. I imagined countless facetimes and text messages about my experience here, each friend laughing at my goofy moments (I tend to get lost and find new adventures)(Thank God my new car has a built in GPS). I quickly realized that this was not happening. Those who I knew would be here for me aren’t. For a few days I felt dropped, like I had been thrown away. Were all of my friendships a lie? No one has checked on me. I knew this would happen but I never expected within my first week my messages would go ignored. I was initially angry until a few messages started rolling in. I realized real friendships with withstand the distance and that doesn’t mean those who dropped me were never my friends. Their lives had to move on without me and for some people ignoring your existence is easier than replying to you.
“Some people come into your life for a lifetime and some come for a season. You got to know which is which, and you always gonna mess up when you mix them seasonal people up with lifetime expectations…some people get married to people who they was only supposed to be with for a season. That was a person that was supposed to come and teach you one thing”
I believe Tyler Perry said it best with that quote. In life many people are desperate to not be alone. Whether its staying in a toxic friendship or relationship we keep people around just to have someone. (Sidebar: if you are reading this and feel it is personal about you DO NOT take it as a dis). By no means am I or have I ever been the perfect friend. I can get angry easy but I am also extremely sensitive. It can be difficult to tell if I am joking or being serious (thanks to my very dry humor). There is a possibility that I have served my seasonal purpose in their lives and that is okay. I’ve always imagined that I would have the same friends forever. Meeting at a young age, graduating high school together, attending the same college, becoming roommates, meeting a set of best friends, marrying them, being the godmothers to each others kids, and essential embarrassing each other until we died. That’s not real life Samantha, friendships do not always last (yes, I talk in third person, sue me). But what happens when you’re a socially awkward 22 year old girl in a a new city? Where do I find friends? FOR THESE QUESTIONS I DO NOT HAVE THE ANSWERS (okay, I also like to scream a lot as well).
Lucky for you bored people out there who stumbled across this blog or clicked on some shameless promoting link I posted I will be updating you on my quest for friends, a big girl job ( don’t worry this will be a very long post coming soon), possibly a boyfriend (three years single+socially awkward+a unique quirky looking face don’t really mix),a dog (preferably a cute lil pug) and a big girl apartment (by big girl I mean no roommates).
xo ♥ S
slightlycurly 